All your meow are belong to us

Yes, it's another cruelly-humiliated cat for your enjoyment.

You sick, sick people. Can't you see that your perverse cravings have gone beyond your (admittedly feeble) powers of self-control? Ah well, what's the use. The following top-secret file was pulled off a dead link via the Internet Wayback. All for your fiendish, incomprehensible, craven amusement. Enjoy.

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The F.P.E.S. 0.0 - 1.1.0

1-18-06
Today is a great day for the cat freedom movement! The prototype Feline Protection and Enhancement System is ready for testing! The F.P.E.S. v0.0, known as ‘The Zero’, was produced in our top secret, Illinois facility just last week.

Classifed Stills of Production Sample:

Side view:



















3/4 view



















1-19-06

Good news, gentlemen! An appropriate candidate for the testing of The Zero has been located! Boone, one of five seemingly viable subjects available, was the only feline willful enough to resist the bonding process. Not only did his system not reject The Zero entirely, but he seemed to be totally indifferent to its presence! Initial fitting and on-site testing to ensue.

Top-Secret Photos of the Bonding Process:

The Zero is applied to the test subject:



















Eureka! We have a viable candidate. Subject Boone appears unwavered by the signifigance of this breakthrough event:



















The only thing left to do now is field test the system.

1-20-06

Initial battle reports show subject Boone to be performing exceptionally well. During the first mission, two of three soft targets were terminated. Late into the mission the Zero seperated from its host leading to the escape of one rogue hound. After careful reattachment, subject Boone was put back into the field. He tracked down the offending canine post-haste and nuetralized him without hesitation.

1-21-06

Version 1.1.0 of F.P.E.S. has been affixed to subject Boone. The F.P.E.S. was decorated with symbols of victory to strike fear into our canine opressors and reinforced with a better, stronger frame. Soon, full fledged production will be possible. An entire crate of oranges was seen entering the domicile. With these wonderful products of nature, we will eradicate all the dogs in the house within the span of a week!























Emotionless, Boone never stops to ponder the moral ramifications of his actions. He’s the perfect killer!
















The D.O.G. (Dog Oppressive Government) party is unwilling to negotiate. I’ve got surveilance photos that indicate a counterattack. I’ll be sure to post the top-secret shots of their new technologies. I can only hope my wife and I do not suffer any collateral damage as a result of our pets’ war.

T-shirts commemorating this historic moment are now available in the lobby.

Update: A new bit of information has come to light. The D.O.G.s (who seem to think that D.O.G. stands for Democratic Opportunity Government) are unveiling a new PR campaign in a desperate attempt to regain the public’s trust.