Lapsnorkling!

According to Google, this euphemism for oral sex appears exactly once. (Using a different spelling, we found 33 uses, still not a large number.) That needs to change - and the sooner the better.

Frankly, there's a glaring need for a new word describing this activity. "Oral sex" sounds too clinical, "fellatio" too pretentious, "blowjob" too inaccurate, "playing the skin flute" too awkward. "Lapsnorkling" sounds... fun. Sporty. Adventurous. Even PG-rated, although of course it really isn't (unless you've never set foot outside the Playboy Mansion). We think more men would get their laps snorkled if they could only find the right way to request the, ah, service. "Let's go fly fishing for trouser trout" just doesn't do it.

Therefore, we're urging readers to start using the word "Lapsnorkling", preferably on the net. Use that same spelling (it's more unique than simply placing "Lap" and "snorkeling" next to each other). Get into bed with a wetsuit and flippers and put the moves on the old lady. Let's get this puppy into the OED as soon as possible.

Lapsnorkling: It's What's for Dinner.

Categories: Sexual+euphemisms, Language, Lapsnorkling