Bill Gates changing name to 'The Gates'

Our source in Redmond tells us that Bill Gates is legally changing his name to 'The Gates', after buying all rights to the name from the artist Christo for $30 million. According to our MS insider, Gates' PR team felt the move worked on several levels. First, it nicely parlays the generally positive press generated by Christo's Central Park installation. Second, it "conveys the unique standing of Bill Gates in the worlds of technology and philanthropy. He really likes the aura of it," explained our confidant. "'Chairman Bill' was kind of overly familiar, and it was getting long in the tooth besides. Bill had been looking quite a while for something that would sort of push that meme to the side of the road." Third, the name change is expected to 'elevate' Gates' public personna the way 'The Arnold' did for Schwartzenegger and 'The Donald' did for Trump. "Our research groups confirmed that 'the' puts you on a kind of pedestal in the public's mind. It makes you special, or as Gates likes to put it: 'removes the ceiling'. It implies something exalted without outright saying it, which is ideal from a PR perspective. You never say 'Dalai Lama' or 'Pope' without 'The'. Even Batman is cooler when he's 'The' Batman. Of course, you've got to have something going for you in the first place or it won't work."

We were also leaked the new Microsoft home page (shown above), to be officially unveiled after the name change announcement. The revised site features the company's new corporate color - 'Gates Orange'.

Rumors that 'The Gates' also plans to announce an Apprentice-style TV show called "The Startup", and that the Central Park installation would be moved into 'The Gates' backyard after this weekend cannot be confirmed at this time.

{This story updated here. Related story, saying 'cheerio' to Christo and indexing reactions to his Gates, here.}